Well as of last night, 2009 is going out with a bang! Not the kind of bang one might think of as an "exclamation point" to punctuate the year, but more like a thundering voice from somewhere up above saying "HOLD UP KIDDO, YOU STILL HAVE SOMETHING TO LEARN!"
I got a long awaited phone call last evening with a message that I could have waited much longer to hear. My cardiologist made the phone call personally. That got the hair on the back of my neck to stand straight up and fast! He told me that the holter monitor he had me wear for 24 hours 2 weeks ago showed that my heart had shown episodes of V-tach (Ventricular Tachycardia). He told me in no uncertain terms that he feels it's now time to get the AICD (defibrillator) in and as soon as possible. So.. after spending all afternoon on the phone between National Jewish hospital and University hospital in Denver my AICD implant is happening Tuesday January 5th. All things considered, this is a very good way to start the new year. Peace of mind. There really is no price you can put on that is there? A defibrillator can save my life, and that's how I chose to look at it, but to say that I'm not scared right now would be a big, fat, lie!
I'm not sure what lesson I have to learn from all of this yet. But I do know there is something. There always is. I also received a phone call from my main Sarcoidosis doctor today. She told me that the tests I had 2 weeks ago are showing that there is no improvement in the sarcoid from six months ago. She started to tell me that I needed to up my methotrexate now, but she hadn't heard the big bang news yet, so she ended up telling me to "scratch that" and that she would get back to me next week after the defibrillator goes in. So.... that's the report I waited so long to hear. (Two weeks is loooong when you're me!) I honestly believed that because the results took so long that "no news is good news" but that is NOT the case people. Don't believe it when someone tries to tell you that!!
There's still hope. Lots of it. The sarcoid isn't getting worse. It's just not responding well to the current treatment. If it weren't wreaking havoc on my heart it would be tempting to just live with it but that's not smart either considering that the longer the inflammation is present, the more damage is being done to the organs that host it. Anywhooo..
I promised my cardiologist that I would take it easy and stay low key until Tuesday. I have been confined to the loft by my kids!! The upside of that is that they have to wait on me hand and foot. (I'm a pretty low maintenance prisoner though!) and the downside is that there will be no big New Year's Eve party here tonight as we had originally planned. That's okay with me though.. I'm scared shitless to pretty much do anything right now. I promised Dr. Buckner that I would not drive alone and that I would have someone near me until I get there. So.... NYE at my house will be spent up here in the loft.. I'm pretty sure we have some champagne, and a few board games to ring in 2010. Maybe even a few episodes of The Big Bang Theory season 2. Seems appropriate doesn't it?
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