What Else Is There?

"What else is there?” he asked me. And then he said “I wish I knew”.

*HE* shall be referred to from here on out as Fred. That’s not his real name. We all know that. And I have no earthly idea why I feel the need to ‘protect the not-so-innocent’ in his case. But I do. So Fred he shall be.

Fred is married. He thinks he loves me. He has no clue, really. But I know he thinks so. It’s so weird.. all this attention from him. He apologizes constantly because he can’t leave me alone. Seriously. Part of me wants to tell him repeatedly that he annoys the living shit out of me. And another sicker part of me lets him keep on telling me such things because I often enjoy the attention. Sad. I know.

So Fred… What else is there? You could always shower your wife with the same attention that you seem intent on giving me. I wonder how she would react to that. You could crawl in bed next to her tonight and tell her how much you love her. You could decide at the beginning of each day that you will love her no matter what happens. You’ve been married to her for 32 years. That’s a long time to stay with someone that you don’t love. You must love her a little.

Tonight he told me that he thinks about me all the time.

I told him that’s not a good thing.

He said.. “What else is there?”

There is so much more. Even I, the 45 year old single lady knows how much more there is. How horrible it must be to feel trapped in a place where all you can do is “think” about someone besides the one who you are married to. All you can do is wish, and not have what it takes to do something about it.

Fred.. I wish you more. I hope that somehow in the coming year you learn that life is just too damned short to feel that there is nothing else. We’re not getting any younger Fred! Why sacrifice your own happiness?

It’s opened my eyes. There was a time when I wished things were different for Fred too… I wished that he loved me enough to make me a priority in his life. I wished that Fred and I could be happy together. But, that lasted about a week. And then I opened my eyes a little more. They open further as the days go by. What else is there Fred?

Let me know when you figure it out! On second thought… don’t bother.