45 candles

In my family, birthday's are big deals.  Some family members insist that it's just another day.. but we like to make a big stink if we can.  So we had a birthday bash last night at the bowling alley, for me, and for my nephew who is soon to turn 23.
Today I feel like I got bowled! I think I feel my age for the first time EVER! But it's such a great feeling.  The past two years of my life have taught me how short it is, so every birthday is a milestone for me, and one I am simply grateful to share with those I love.  Having a birthday at the very end of a year is a really awesome way to keep that year in perspective.  I have been blessed this year beyond measure.  I have so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to. 
Here's to 45 candles still shining brightly, and hoping for at least another 45 to come! And just so you all know... 1964 was a reallllly  good year!

Blogging in the new year..

I resolve to... ehh... no, wait.  I uhm.  I resolve to --- yeah.  That's how it always is for me.  So many, many years ago I decided not to make new year's resolutions.  I can never make one that's important enough to stick to throughout the year.  But I'm doing it this year.  Yes I am.  I'm resolving to blog as much as humanly possible in 2010. I resolve to blog until it's a habit I can't live without.

I set this little humdinger up last night.  I imported a few of my old blogs so it didn't sit here all lonely like until I got to it.  I blogged a shorty about Christmas, and now, I'm right here resolving in front of (probably no one) my public! (I have a great imagination don't I?). 

I love to write.  I love to write for people.  I love to write for fun.. not work.  This seems like the best of both worlds.  I also love to rant.  Again.. best idea yet!  So blog I will. Because it's fun, because it's therapeutic, because I love it!

Let's see if I got this right..

Passing along an email I got today  (have seen it before, but this is GOOD stuff!)

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET

• A JOB,
• A DRIVERS LICENSE,
• SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
• WELFARE,
• FOOD STAMPS,
• CREDIT CARDS,
• SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
• FREE EDUCATION,
• FREE HEALTH CARE,
• A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON
• BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
• THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT
• AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION…

You would think that this might make some folks take notice.  Oh.  Don't believe it? Don't think this is true?  I assure you, it happens EVERY DAY in America.  

So.. when are we going to wake up?  Anyone??

The great hush...

Can you hear it? The hush! The great silence that comes over your chaotic mind on the day after Christmas. The gifts are open, the mess is gone.. or not. And there's this hush.. I like it. Christmas this year was fabulous! We had more gifts than any family has a right to, more reasons to celebrate than anyone thought possible, and more people sitting on the floor in front of the tree than there was really room for. I don't think there were any great disappointments in the gift department. Everyone seemed happy and content with their bounty.. not that it would have mattered, because had someone whined I would have come uncorked! But that's all really neither here nor there... I'm not afraid to say that I'm glad it's behind us now.
The tree is starting to annoy me. The toy store that somehow exploded in my house will all find it's way into some sort of organization in the weeks to come, my cats can stop batting ornaments across the wood floor in the living room, and I can rest well knowing that I can still pull off a beautiful holiday celebration and survive mostly unscathed!
I'm sorry if I'm a post Christmas scrooge ~ wait ~ no I'm not! I'm okay with it. I'm ready to get back into the "normal" routine of life and set Christmas on the shelf in my mind that will be more than ready to be revisited in roughly 11 months!
If you're reading this and I forgot your gift, or didn't promise you photos in the coming weeks then just chalk it up to the chaos and forgive me!

random me

I’m a photographer, graphic designer, writer, reader, grandma, momma, friend. I am many things, I am me. I believe in God. I talk to Him. He answers me. I don’t care if you think I’m crazy! I’m a little insecure. I’m okay with that. I’m strong. I’m weak. I’m real. I love being a grandma, just like I love being a mom. I want bunches of grandkids. Bunches!

I feel younger than I am. I love to laugh. I need to laugh. I’m genuine. I’m bitchy. I’m happy. I love my life. A lot!

I’m purple, and I’m green. I love potatoes. I don’t require a lot of sleep. I love to write. I love to talk. I enjoy conversations with some substance.

I spend too much time on the computer. I day dream. I work. I get up early. I go to bed late. I don’t watch the boob tube much. I read a lot.

I love to hear my grandkids say “Mammmaw?” I love to see them communicate in their own way.

I have Sarcoidosis. I have hope. Lots of it.

I am peanut butter and macaroni and cheese… not together.

I dislike shopping most of the time. I think pizza is “ok” but I’m not crazy about it.

I love to learn. I think I could be a professional student.

I play the piano. I sing. Not very well mind you.

My eyes are greenish. My hair is curly.

I love weird words. I love purses. I love sweatshirts with hoods.

I love blue jeans and flip flops. 
I love quirky people, and people who have something to say.. not just with their words. I love to listen.
I'm a people watcher. I love animals. New socks are fabulous. I turn the music up in my truck and sing like nobody can hear me. I need the mountains. I don't drink milk. If you can make me laugh, you can own my heart!

What Else Is There?

"What else is there?” he asked me. And then he said “I wish I knew”.

*HE* shall be referred to from here on out as Fred. That’s not his real name. We all know that. And I have no earthly idea why I feel the need to ‘protect the not-so-innocent’ in his case. But I do. So Fred he shall be.

Fred is married. He thinks he loves me. He has no clue, really. But I know he thinks so. It’s so weird.. all this attention from him. He apologizes constantly because he can’t leave me alone. Seriously. Part of me wants to tell him repeatedly that he annoys the living shit out of me. And another sicker part of me lets him keep on telling me such things because I often enjoy the attention. Sad. I know.

So Fred… What else is there? You could always shower your wife with the same attention that you seem intent on giving me. I wonder how she would react to that. You could crawl in bed next to her tonight and tell her how much you love her. You could decide at the beginning of each day that you will love her no matter what happens. You’ve been married to her for 32 years. That’s a long time to stay with someone that you don’t love. You must love her a little.

Tonight he told me that he thinks about me all the time.

I told him that’s not a good thing.

He said.. “What else is there?”

There is so much more. Even I, the 45 year old single lady knows how much more there is. How horrible it must be to feel trapped in a place where all you can do is “think” about someone besides the one who you are married to. All you can do is wish, and not have what it takes to do something about it.

Fred.. I wish you more. I hope that somehow in the coming year you learn that life is just too damned short to feel that there is nothing else. We’re not getting any younger Fred! Why sacrifice your own happiness?

It’s opened my eyes. There was a time when I wished things were different for Fred too… I wished that he loved me enough to make me a priority in his life. I wished that Fred and I could be happy together. But, that lasted about a week. And then I opened my eyes a little more. They open further as the days go by. What else is there Fred?

Let me know when you figure it out! On second thought… don’t bother.